This evening I had a few good friends over for wine, lasagna, and a terribly inappropriate game of Cards Against Humanity. As I mulled over which card to put down in response to “I got 99 problems but ____ ain’t one” (kids with ass cancer…), I received a comment on Confessions of a Banshee. The comment was in response to my posts about Airplane Guy and said: “Didn’t you just write a blog about being a social worker? And I joined up finding it to be very touching and insightful. You were very disrespectful in this blog. You lost me as follower. Your apology to “Airplane Guy” reads so in sincerely [sic]. Where is your kindness and compassion?”
My wine-sozzled friends were very supportive.
“If you’re gonna do a blog there are gonna be haters.”
“You are speaking about your experiences. Not everyone is going to like it.”
“You can’t care about every single negative comment someone leaves for you.”
And it was in that moment that I realized it is just impossible to try to please everybody. The simple fact of life is that everyone has an opinion about something. Mind you, most people do not have opinions about complicated or important shit like nuclear reactors, computer algorithms, rocket science, black holes, string theory, or how to solve a Pentamix Rubik Cube.
It seems instead that most people have opinions about how others should behave, think or feel—this is a pointless and harmful waste of mental energy. This particular commenter has a surface level judgement about whether or not I am sincere, kind, or compassionate—a judgement she made after reading a mere 355 of my words. I did not start this blog for the approval of others but rather as an outlet to share my truth.
The reality of humanity is that people are not all one way or the other. I can be a social worker, I can be touching, insightful, kind and compassionate and I can still think someone has a small penis. The key to failure really is trying to please everybody. It is true that none of us will make it out of this life alive but if we live genuinely and expose the truest versions of ourselves, we are certain to piss at least a few people off while we are here.
Be brave, be bold and stay true to yourself because someone somewhere is already offended and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.