Several weeks ago I received a new message on my now deleted online dating profile that inquired, “Do you like being eaten? Because I’d love to go down on you!” Alarmingly this message is far from the filthiest I have received in the indecent world of online dating.

I cannot help but feel incredibly disenchanted by some men these days, if we can even appropriately call them men. I am sure that classy, refined, kind, intelligent, respectful and loyal gentlemen under the age of 35 exist somewhere out there, and this blog is not about them. But if you happen to know where to find one of these fellas do be sure to let me know.

How in the actual fuck did our society arrive to its current state of being, to the place where a man can cyber suggest to eat pussy without the slightest bit of courtship? Do we owe this evolution to technology? Pornography? Feminism? Nevertheless I recognize that these classless, nauseating, inconsiderate idiots were not born as douchebags. Our culture not only reinforces but actually enables this daft and discourteous behavior.

The internet hands us instant gratification on a platinum platter. Some men hunt the web asking less than politely for hand jobs or blowjobs or rim jobs (even if they themselves have no jobs), and their appetites seem to get fed as effortlessly as a captive zoo animal during meal time.

We women normalize the crude requests of crass strangers. We just casually roll our eyes when propositioned for sex by someone who does not even know our name. Our jaws should drop in horror at the suggestive and inappropriate pleas of these entitled pricks, but they mostly do not. Perhaps we accept the absurdity of some men today because we believe that we have to settle. Maybe we think that if we do not give in to the demands of Internet trolls on the prowl for nothing more than a talking twat, we will end up alone.

We women must stop accepting that this is just the way some men are today unless we want to continue to subject ourselves to selfish, unaccountable, uncaring, uncommitted, dim and emotionally inept losers. We are all worth so much more than these men want us to believe.

We are human beings. We have eyes to stare into and hearts to extend, stories to tell and memories to make. We have hope to hold and love to give and perspective to offer. We all deserve to feel desired, pursued, appreciated and connected. But all of that gets lost in a world of swipes, clicks and instantaneous indulgence.

I hope these men know that they are missing out on the deep, meaningful, fulfilling, passionate, special, warm and consistent connection between a man and a woman that is afforded by courtship, intrigue, respect and decency. To these men I say grow up, grow a bigger pair of balls if you have to, but first tell me where the fuck are the gentlemen at?